ELECTIONS

Ok guys I totally love this.So some general postulates that I have to establish.

1. IT IS 100% A POPULARITY CONTEST. No doubt it is. The last proof of this will be James Ho losing to Allison Tong. James is not that popular, but he’s really pro at math and in real life would be a much better treasurer than Allison Tong (no offense meant, you would probably make a good treasurer too but I’m sure James would do much better) . However, Allison is about 100x if not 200x more popular (like seriously everyone knows her, and loves her and etc. and like only complete nerds or ceramics guys know James). So unfortunately, James will probably lose. What a pity old buddy.

2. Posters=waste of paper. Most people just post the same things over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and… ok you get the point, again and other than a specific few (Mr. Wilson & some others), no one pays much attention to them. And of course, they vote for their friends. So if you have billions of friends, and your opponent doesn’t, then don’t bother with the posters. Just walk around and talk to people.

3. Facebook groups=let’s either join all of them or ignore all of them. Seriously guys, its kinda pointless. I join about every single group that I deem somewhat important. or heck sometimes i press confirm because my mouse is closer to the confirm button than it is to the ignore button. So yeah, seriously… those things are pointless except to be used to show more of your popular face in the crowd (which therefore means that you don’t need one as Postulate#1 makes certain of your victory).

4. The only time any of the previous (except #1) is proven false is when the people are equally popular. But we’ll go to that later… or sometime soon.

Theorems:

1. A good speech means you win.

Proof: Lucy Shen won her election by the masses because her speech was way better than her opponents.

2. If you don’t win, you didn’t have a good speech.

Proof: Doug Wilson didn’t win. He didn’t have a good speech.

3. Randomly Filing out a ballot wastes school paper.

Proof: Go ask Vikram for his opinion. Be sure to have protection though.

4. Multitask is what we can do.

Given: We’re playing cards, and you walk past and start talking.

Prove: We can still hear you.

S                                                  | R

1. Givens.                                 | Given

2. We can still hear you.      | Definition of Multitasking

Funnies:

Today, during lunch, a bunch of people walked by and were like VOTE FOR ME!
So Monica Liu, one of our candidates for Secretary came and she gave her random speech and then she was like vote for me! Tristan walks by and was like “psst… David don’t vote for her!”
Monica’s like “why?” and Elbert’s like because we vote for people with the biggest breast size. Monica asks him to repeat it, to which he follows the order and repeats it. Then he follows with “wait so whats yours?”

Moral: Never ask why people shouldn’t vote for you.

2nd Moral: Ignore the first moral. I makes people laugh and think your a cool person and vote for you.

Note: If you happen to make this list. I swear that you have my vote. So yeah. To win more votes, come get harassed by Kevin and Elbert.

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